This past weekend I went on a high school women's retreat called WOW (Women Of Worth), and the theme was fittingly, Divine Mercy. Hearing from the women leading the retreat speak on Jesus's capacity to love and have mercy on souls astonished me. I realized that I was so tired of fighting all the battles of life by myself, and also that I was fighting Him off as well. I couldn't trust, and I couldn't give the Lord my heart. I had for so long wished upon that same wishing star that T-Swift wished on every night when she was crying on her guitar, for a man to come and sweep me off my feet. The desire burned so much sometimes that I physically hurt inside. Boys never have seemed to like me in a romantic way, and that made me think that it was because I wasn't pretty enough, or that I wasn't skinny enough, thus leading them not to be attracted to me. I yearned to be loved, and the devil twisted my thoughts, and made me believe that I was evil for having these kinds of desires. But the truth is, these desires to be loved were not evil at all, in fact, they were beautiful. God has given all women a heart that wants to know love and to be loved. Even though I knew God loved me and wanted me for His own, I wanted a human love. I had been watching to many chick flick's and had told my heart that maybe someday, a Jack or a Harry would come and whiz all my troubles away. This was all in my imagination, and I realized that guy from a chick flick would never come. The cry of my heart was rooted in longing for Him who made me. I wanted God to notice me, to know me, and to love me. The very cool thing is, He already was doing those things, even when I was just a thought! He knew me! But despite all this, our Lord is a gentlemen and will only come if we invite Him. Sitting in Adoration Saturday night, I found again my knight in shining armor. I only needed to ask Him, and He came. I am still struggling, and maybe I will always, but I am no longer fighting alone. My Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in love. If you are wrestling with thoughts of doubt or despair, remember, the Lord wants you, He loves you, and He will have mercy on you. You need only to invite Him to come in. You are a woman of worth! I love you my sisters with my whole heart and are keeping you in my prayers! Greater things are yet to come!!! In Christ, Becky
